October 15th

I'm sure some of you know, others may not, but today is the National day of Rememberance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. A blogger friend of mine, Angie at Bring the Rain posted a great post today...please go read it! The quote she posted is great, but as well as, if you have the time, read the comments...She asked for anyone that has experienced pregnancy loss or infant loss to comment for prayer and to pray for each other. So far, there are 1,300 comments...which just that alone brings tears to my eyes...but here is why...

(sorry if you read this twice, cuz i wrote some of this in my comment on her page) Its so sad to see that soo many people have experienced this pain, and loss in their life, but just the shear number is amazing in that we are not alone! We are not alone, because we have Christ in our life, as our foundation, but to have this large number of women who have experienced loss in this way, who understand the hurt, and pain, and emptiness, leaves me speachless. SO MANY people don't know how to respond to this kind of loss, so it leaves me feeling alone, and others i know of as well. No one hardly talks about it, as humans, we don't like to deal with sadness, its uncomfortable!...think about it, what would you do if you said to someone oh how many kids do you have and they said none, but i've lost 2 babies, now granted there are other ways of saying that, and i'm talking complete stranger...at the grocery store, or the mall. Just the other day and i've gotten it alot over the years, maybe its because I buy so much kid stuff for everyone but I dont know, but just the other day i bought a pair of baby jeans at a garage sale for someone, and the lady said oh how old is your baby, i just said they were for a friend...but the point is, pregnancy loss is not something you just blurt out to anyone, like you would when say you have 2 living children...anyways, moving on, thats another long topic, for another day :) the whole point is that because its so almost "hush hush" not talking about it, not discussing it, etc...it makes you feel like wow, something is wrong with me, i am all alone, and can spiral into depression very easily, but to see this large number, and those are just the ones so far, and only of the women that read her blog, its encouraging to know that a lot of women all over this world know what i am feeling, even if family or friends don't, other women do!! Now to just talk about it...

This year, Tom and I will be adding beautiful pearl ornaments to our tree in remembrance of our babies. they are both the letter "B" (for baby)and are just perfect. Also you already know about my necklace that I wear in remembrance of them as well...let alone all the times I think of them...with the first one, i think about how we would be starting preschool lessons with them soon, and planning the second baby, and preparing a nursery, and i really think about them, specifically the first one since more time has passed, but this month not only am i still recovering the loss of the second baby, i'm dealing with the remembrance of the loss of the first one 3 1/2 years ago almost exactly...and the hardest, is when its around the time they would have been born, or when we celebrate my great neice's birthday, who was born a day after I was due w/the first one or so...but the point is, this is a life long thing, when someone sees me, and it appears to them that its just Tom and I, in my mind, its not just Tom and I, I have a family, they just aren't here on Earth with me, thats all. 

Please be praying for all of these women who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. I have really been praying about something I think God is laying on my heart to do for all of us in this catagory to share our stories, so if you could pray that God will give me discernment with that as well, that would be much appreciated.  Thanks so much for reading all this, and please hug your kiddos a little tighter tonight...