Love/Hate Relationship with going to church

Please just hear me out before you scroll to the bottom to the comment box...lol...I love going to church....I love the praise and worship, the message, all of it, but on the other hand, the same things make me annoyed...with myself basically...see the problem is we went to church this morning, and ever since my life changed 3 years ago after the first miscarriage, when I go to church, it takes everything I have to not completely lose it! Crying, bawling, weeping, call it what you will, but its what i fight, and don't do that great of a job...I always think i'm doing just fine, until I go to church, and this was this way even before I was pregnant this last time, so you can only imagine what it is like now! Anyways, so I think it is a combination of everyone around me having kids, or maybe the couple sitting right behind us with a brand new baby, or the woman 3 rows in front of us with an even newer baby, or the use of the word "family" repeatedly, the praise and worship, the message, or maybe the pastor even mentioning in his list of things that might be going on in your life, he says something related to not being able to get pregnant, but it all somehow leads back to the same subject in my life...and makes me start crying, and I try REALLY hard to not let it be more than tears in my eyes, but then they say its time to pray and, well then the tears that were being held back by my open eyes, are now streaming down my face...See the thing is, when i am at home, during the week, even if i'm singing praise songs while cleaning, or praying or whatever, i am occupied and try to stay busy, and just be strong, and honestly believe I am fine, but then when I go to church, I feel it all so much more, and realize maybe when I said i didn't have an ounce of anger in me, maybe I was wrong, maybe just a couple ounces :) lol...but nothing fixes it, nothing makes a child appear in my life that is my own, but isn't it funny how we always want what we don't have...Someone will say something about how their baby cries all the time and UGH i just can't ever get anything done around here, and have no me time...and I want to say, I would give anything to have a baby that cries all the time and to have no me time...I've had enough me time to last me awhile...but then that person is sitting on the other side thinking what i wouldn't give to be able to just go to a movie w/my husband, or to be able to clean my house with no distractions, to not have to wake up in the middle of the night, etc...perfect example right now...it is 4:45pm on Sunday...the tv is on, but on mute, i have no clue why, tom is on the couch on his computer, and i am in the chair on my computer, its completely quiet in here, except the tapping on my keyboard and listening to my dog sighing because he wants out of his cage(after being bad)...i'm sure that sounds fabulous to a lot of you, Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, and my home and my life more than words can express, and am very thankful for Tom and I's relationship...and the continued foundation we are building for our family that we will have one day...weather that be through adoption, or naturally...its just like the pastor said at church today, and I know there is a great song about it too, but is that God is going to finish what he started in me, and that God never said this road would be easy, but I know I am not walking alone. Some days are just harder than others, and those days I know God is holding me even closer and reassuring me of His plan for my life.